Poem,comments ?
Leery lefty is kinda groggy
Staring out to sea
On the jetty
Leggy, Lewdly lindy
Is kinda kinky
Waiting for Jesse
Who’s watching a movie?
Acting loudly
Acting lippy
In the lobby
Joey jockey
Is on a journey
Walking through
A forest leafy
He lost his limpy horse
Lucky
After he was caught
For deeds of mystery?
But it wasn’t ’him
For it was his pet loony monkey
Motley
Who liked green minty money?
Lordly and princely
His now a marquis
Living in France
Hamming it up
Living it poshly
High on martinis
Preening himself
For high prissy girls
Like Elvis Presley ?
The question was answered by :
maya :
The alliteration is very nice, just make sure that you don’t sacrifice ideas or use words unnecessarily for the sake of it. I like the sound of it-it’s fun to read. To make it flow better, you could count syllables so the poem becomes even smoother to read. As for organization, you could leave it the way it is now, it’s called poetic license. I recommend that you break it up into stanzas when a new idea roles in so you could put more emphasis on it. All in all, it’s very creative, the message comes through and it does so creatively. It was a pleasure to read.